


You Were The Bridge That Kept Us Connected

by BeepBoopBaapIsHere



Series: IllumiDream Oneshots :D [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, Divorce, Fuck I nearly forgot about that one again, Fundy's pov is next, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm just wondering whether I should make it chapter 2 or a separate work, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Murder, No happy endings nothing, Paradise Found, Please be mindful of the tags, References to Depression, Suicide Notes, Unhappy Ending, hmmmmm, this is pure angst guys, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27710054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeepBoopBaapIsHere/pseuds/BeepBoopBaapIsHere
Summary: Illumina's thoughts on Dream's death.Aka me going ham with the angst because the stupid prompt generator keeps forcing me to do fluff.PLEASE LOOK AT THE TAGS! THIS HAS REFERENCED SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION ON IT.By no means am I saying that this fic is an accurate depiction of depression. It's a serious mental illness and if you think that you may have it, I HEAVILY encourage you to talk to someone. Please.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy, Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy/IlluminaHD, Clay | Dream/IlluminaHD, Floris | Fundy/IlluminaHD
Series: IllumiDream Oneshots :D [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025368
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	You Were The Bridge That Kept Us Connected

**Author's Note:**

> AGAIN! LAST WARNING! THIS FIC CONTAINS DEPICTIONS OF SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION! PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF FIRST!

Rain pours down from the sky as two figures in black share an umbrella together, looking down at a single grave.

"Dream..." One of them speaks, tears flowing down his face, his damp ginger hair pressing into his forehead as he kneels down to put a hand on the grave "I'm sorry..."

The other man, a male with a mask covering half of his face, looks away as shame coils deep into his gut and suffocates him, bringing him down and down and down into the pits of guilt. "I'm sorry we couldn't stay strong for you, Dream..." He mutters to nobody in particular, not to the ginger and not to the person called 'Dream'.

The ginger stands up and faces the masked man with cold eyes. He wipes the tears away from his cheek and takes a ring, a symbol of unison, devotion to each other through time and takes it off. He presses it on the masked man's chest "I'll get the papers ready by the end of the week, Illumina."

The man, now known as Illumina, nods and holds the single ring close to him, staring at the ground where his ex-lover had been standing before. The rain drenches him without the aid of the umbrella the ginger man was holding. He wonders how it came to this, how his life was so happy before it all crashed and burned.

_He remembers when they all first met. Illumina himself was a simple barista, trying to get by in community college. A ginger haired man with a faint stubble and chocolate eyes nervously went up to the counter to order an Americano. He readily agreed and asked for the man's name before getting his order ready. The man answered 'Fundy. I'm Fundy.'_

_Illumina smiled at him then, turning around to make the hot cup of coffee. Once he was done, his eyes scanned the small cafe to look for the ginger. His eyes landed on a table where the man had a coy smile on his face, his palm resting on his chin as he said something that made the other person laugh. Illumina's eyes drifted towards the other person and his breath got caught in his throat. The other person had blond hair that was styled into a neat bun. Emerald eyes stare at Fundy with such warmth that made Illumina remember that he's intruding on such a private moment between two people. He cleared his throat then and averted his eyes, calling out the name of Fundy._

_The ginger stood up and walked over to the counter with a huge, love-struck grin on his face. He put his arms on the table top as he reached for the cup and said "Hey. When's your shift ending?"_

_Illumina blinked at him, dumbfounded and confused "What?" He then searched for the other man's eyes, for a clue, an inkling to what the other was thinking only to be met with a soft laugh._

_"Well, me and my boyfriend thought that you were pretty cute. We're open to new things, y'know? Why not give it a shot? Unless you're monogamous or straight which is totally fine, by the way." Fundy grinned and Illumina had wondered back then where that nervous man went to. The man standing right in front of him was brimming with confidence, Illumina smiles softly at that, being with Dream really brought out the confidence in Fundy._

_Illumina checked his watch "I'll be free in about 10 minutes." He informed the other to which Fundy beamed and gave him a thumbs up "Great! We're at that table over there, feel free to join us whenever!"_

_Illumina nodded and watched as Fundy strode over to his boyfriend. He placed the cup of coffee on the table and peppered the blond man in kisses to which the other chuckled and playfully pushed him away. Fundy sat down in front of Dream and the two continued their conversation._

_10 minutes later, Illumina nervously sat down between them and introduced himself. Dream had smiled at him and complimented him._

_Illumina expected the impromptu date to be awkward for him as he was basically butting into a private circle for the couple but it wasn't at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite, he had a lot of fun and by the time it ended, he was waving at the couple goodbye with a dopey smile on his face as he held a paper slip that contained both of their numbers._

Illumina shakes his head, looking up at the tombstone of his dead husband. He smiles bitterly at the thought that if Dream were alive right now, the other would've scolded him of staying out in the rain all by himself without an umbrella. Dream would always be the one making sure he and Fundy took care of themselves. That thought strikes Illumina’s heart with more guilt. He should’ve noticed. He should’ve noticed Dream’s dull eyes, the bags under his eyes, the way he always steered the conversation when it focuses on him. _**He should have noticed all the signs.**_

_He remembers when he and Fundy began falling apart. When Illumina suggested that they should move houses as the current one was getting too big for them. Too lonely. Too suffocating. Too many memories of happy times eating him up._

_Fundy snapped at him then, told him that they aren’t getting rid of the house that Dream bought for them. He didn’t want to let go. Illumina tried to reason, tried to diffuse the situation. Fundy stormed out in anger back then._

_After that, it’s been tense around them, arguments between the two broke out more often, they tried to keep their relationship stable for a whole year until everything just… snapped. Fundy approached him with the papers, his eyes dull and empty and Illumina… Illumina couldn’t disagree with what he said._

_They lost their touch the moment they found Dream’s lifeless body hanging from the ceiling. They silently blamed each other for Dream’s death._

Illumina doesn’t even know whether or not the coldness in his bones is from the rain or from the cold feeling settling in his body as he remembers that day. The day he lost everything. 

_Dream had been acting weird lately. Illumina and Fundy both noticed it but they were confident that their husband would tell them what was wrong._

_The two of them decided to try and surprise Dream. To try and lift his spirits up! To tell him that they were there for him every step of the way._

_When they arrived back at their home, the building was eerily quiet. There was no music coming through the walls, no sounds of Dream bustling around, no noise of him just wandering at the house just looking at the pictures scattered around._

_An unsettling feeling immediately settles in their chests as they walk around the unnaturally empty house, calling out to their husband._

_Illumina stopped at the door to their bedroom, his eyes widening at the many letters taped to it. He immediately called Fundy, who practically ran there. They stare at the letters and shakily pries them away from the door. Each of it had nothing but names of the many important people in Dream’s life written at the front of it._

_My Husbands  
Illumina  
Fundy  
Technoblade  
Tommy  
Wilbur  
Tubbo  
My Parents_

_Those were the names written on the front of the letters._

_They both decided to open the letter addressed to the both of them first._

_’Fundy, Illumina._

_If you’re reading this then… I’m so sorry. I wasn’t strong enough._

_I had so many people that love me. Yet I couldn’t see it. All I could see was the constant, hateful stares they gave me._

_All I could hear instead of the ‘I love yous’ were the whispers of a dark voice telling me that they were lying._

_I should’ve talked to you both. I understand that but… I couldn’t. I couldn’t ruin your happy smiles and loud laughter. I couldn’t bare to make you both stop smiling. I couldn’t bare the thought of you two looking at me with worry and acting differently with me._

_I’m so sorry. None of this is your guys’ fault. It was just me and my stupid pride thinking that I could handle all of it._

_I was still hung up about Bad, George and Sapnap’s deaths. It was 2 years ago, wasn’t it? I told you both I was fine._

_I wasn’t._

_Everyday, I continued to grieve for them._

_Everyday, I continued to remember their dull eyes staring at me from the floor of their home._

_I know you two will do fine without me. You two are so in love with each other that sometimes I even felt left out._

_I love you both. Live a long and happy life for me, okay?’_

_Illumina could see the moment Fundy finished processing what the words on the letter meant. He watched as Fundy threw the door of their bedroom open only to scream in pure agony and heartbreak. Illumina was numb at the time as he stared at his husband’s hanging frame. How his fingers were bloody. How the face of his husband wasn’t peaceful but pained. It didn’t make sense. Dream was happy, right?_

_Illumina vaguely took note of the window that they rarely open was found to be open._

The next day, Illumina found himself staring at a picture of the three of them together with huge grins plastered over their faces. He caresses the picture and glances at the letter that was on his other hand. He keeps finding himself reading it over, searching for _something_ yet he doesn’t know what. Nothing made sense to him. It’s been a year and yet he was _still_ trying to figure out the mystery to a death that was so clearly an open and closed case. 

_'Illumina. ___

____

____

_I love you, so so much. With every fibre of my being._

_I regret a lot of things._

_But inviting you to our coffee date was not one of them._

_Letting you meet our friends, saying yes to your proposal. I wouldn’t give any of that up for the world._

_If I had the choice to be born in another life, I’d gladly choose you to be my soulmate again._

_Your eyes were like a sea of warmth, your hair was as black as the night sky, your laugh was like music to my ears._

_I fell hard for you._

_This letter is for you to remember that I love you very much. I would give you the world if you just asked for it._

_I love you,_

_Dream’_

Illumina blinks as he sees a wet blotch appear on the page. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s crying once more, remembering all the fun times he had with Dream. He remembered the man’s wheezing laughter, the way his eyes shined in pride at Illumina’s achievements. How Dream would sit beside him when he was visibly stressed out and help him through his problems. How, each step of the way, Dream was clutching his hand tightly.

Illumina takes a deep breath and wipes his own tears away. He sets the letter and picture away and looks toward the window, looking down at the bustling city where people mill by and go by their day to day life. He watches as life passes him by, a bittersweet smile on his face as he remembers a cheesy line Fundy said to all of them back then. 

“We’re all a hundred miles away and you’re still here right in my heart.”


End file.
